


Allergy Season is Not Funtime Season

by AnonymouslyFabulous



Category: Transformers: Prime
Genre: Allergies, Claritin, F/M, Grocery Shopping, Surprise attacks, Swearing, lotta swearing in this fic, missiles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-10
Updated: 2018-08-10
Packaged: 2019-06-21 12:40:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15557895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonymouslyFabulous/pseuds/AnonymouslyFabulous
Summary: When a shopping spree for Claritin takes a deadly turn, Y/N must use her 'Allergy Powers' against the Cons if she and Smokescreen want to remain alive.





	Allergy Season is Not Funtime Season

**Author's Note:**

> Guys I was so fucking high on allergy medicine when I wrote this.  
> Unedited as always.

"Allergy season is  _not Funtime_ season Smokescreen." Y/N snarled, shaking her fist full of unused Cleanex at Smokescreen threateningly, glaring up at him through red eyes. Either it was how clogged sounding her voice was or how frazzled and tired she looked, Smokescreen didn't back down. Instead he smiled even wider. 

On the couch cushion beside her, Milo twisted around in her seat and jumped to her knees, hands resting on the back of the couch. She gave Smokescreen an unimpressed look. 

"Dude. Stop saying Funtime season. It's not." 

Just as Y/N was about to thank her, Miko broke into a toothy grin, and she put her hand beside her cheek, as though she were blocking her voice from being heard by the two boys beside her. 

"Didn't you know?" Miko whispered. Smokescreen shook his head, clearly confused, and Miko feigned surprise,  "She's got Allergy Powers!"

Y/N had the strongest urge to choke her friend. She'd just opened a whole new can of worms for Y/N to deal with. And Miko knew it too.

"What?!"

Miko nodded knowingly.

Instead of being barraged by a wave of questions, Smokescreen looked hurt. His gaze raked over to Y/N. 

"You had superpowers and didn't tell me?" He mumbled as though he  _couldn't_ believe his human charge, his closest friend, had lied to them their entire relationship. Y/N snorted. 

"If these are powers I don't want them." Y/N hoped he knew what she meant. She hoped he would drop the whole 'superpowers' subject and watch Jack and Raf play video games. 

Nope. 

At those words, Smokescreen's face lit up like a small child on Christmas, and he leaned closer.  

"So you do have powers?" He sounded excited. Too excited. 

"Dude no. Miko just made that up. There's no such thing as 'Allergy Powers'." Y/N air quoted the words and slumped back down in her seat, crossing her arms, "No such thing." 

"Riiiiight. Gotcha. No superpowers here." 

He leaned down to Y/N's ear. 

"Your secrets safe with me." He whispered knowingly. Y/N groaned, but stayed quiet and watched the video game war continue.  

Suddenly, her nose itched and her body heaved upwards, snot and saliva spewing out of her mouth and nose at colossal speeds.  It was stopped just in time by a Cleanex tissue. 

"Gross." Miko said, a disgusted look on her face as Y/N disposed the used tissue into a plastic bag beside the couch. Y/N wiped her nose with her arm, a streak of barely noticeable snot glazing her arm. She grimaced. 

"Allergies. I can't do anything about it. My Claritin wore off an hour ago." 

"Then take another pill." Jack said, attention focused solely on the first-person shooter game in front of him. 

"I ran out. That was my last pill," Y/N growled, "I thought it was pretty obvious with the sniffling and sneezing." 

Jack raised an eyebrow, and in the exact same moment he looked away from the TV screen, Raf shot his character point-blank in the forehead. 

Miko high-fived Raf and giggled as Jack struggled to comprehend what happened. 

Y/N doubted that was the last pill, and drug her backpack to the couch, digging around in it to see if there were any more pills. Or at least something similar so she could actually breathe. She pushed aside sketches and homework, textbooks and loose sheets of paper. Nothing. She found a pack of F/G gun though. Popping one in her mouth, Y/N threw her backpack on the ground and sighed, feeling defeated. 

"Allergies: 1. Y/N: 0." Y/N grumbled, itching at her watery eyes. She could feel another sneeze coming up, so she leaned forewords and grabbed a few tissues. 

' _This sucks. So badly.'_ Y/N thought bitterly, blowing a bubble. Her gum didn't even taste right. 

' _I could drive to the store to pick some more up._ ' 

Y/N smiled and popped her bubble, chewing. 

"...I could go get some more." Y/N mumbled, feeling for her keys in her pocket. She mostly said it to herself, but unfortunately, Jack heard her. And so did Miko, who nodded her head and smiled. 

Smokescreen and Raf were too invested in the game to really hear anything. 

"Umm, remember Optimus and the bots going out? They're patrolling Jasper for suspicious activity? Ringing any bells?" Jack grunted as his character was demolished by Raf's avatar; a buff looking macho-man wearing a ripped tanktop, covered in tattoos and smoking a cigarette. On Jack's side, the screen flashed in bright letters 'YOU LOSE'. Raf pumped his fist in the air with a quiet 'Yes!' 

Y/N vaguely remembered that. She DID see Optimus and the Posse drive out the base, but she'd been too busy with homework and studying. She didn't think anything of it. 

Y/N waved her hand dismissively. 

"Bah! It'll be fine!" 

Jack set down his controller, which Miko scooped up eagerly, and his eyes widened. 

"No. It won't be fine. Ratchet picked up a Con signal flying over Jasper." 

Y/N shrugged. 

"So? I'm sneaky. I'm stea-" A sneeze shot out of her body before she could finish. 

Jack snorted. 

"Not in that piece of junk you're not." He jabbed his thumb to where Y/N's old Chevy pickup was parked. Y/N had declined Optimus' offer on letting one of the bots drive her to and from her errands, saying her truck was completely capable of doing that itself. 

"Hey! If it drives, I ride." She stated simply, glaring as Miko dissolved into giggles. Jack sighed. 

"My point is, if there is a Decepticon flying around you could get seen-" 

"And shot at." Raf chimed in, eyes glued to the TV as he shot Miko's character with an AK. 

' _He does have a point._ ' 

Y/N jumped as Smokescreen accidentally brushed her arm with a large finger.

"Sorry." He mumbled.

' _The Con won't shoot at me if I'm with an Autobot. Namely, Smokescreen._ ' 

Y/N beamed and her eyes flicked to Smokescreen. 

"Smokey can drive me." She said. 

At the mention of his name, Smokescreen turned his attention to Y/N. 

"I could what?" 

Jack looked at her exasperated, and sighed. 

"You could drive me to pick up Claritin." 

Smokescreen's optics widened and he took a step back. 

"Nuh-Uh! No way! I just finished my punishment from our last  _adventure_." 

Y/N pursed her lips. Now that she did remember. 

Y/N and Smokescreen decided to decorate Vince's car after he'd bullied Jack and Raf that day. After hearing about it from Miko, who'd seen the entire thing and actually tried to intervene, Y/N and Smokescreen spent half the day plotting revenge. Y/N faked being sick and asked if Smokescreen could drive her home, as she was not going to drive in her condition. They'd sped towards the paint store and picked out the most god-awful colours, completed with puke green and neon bright yellow that could blind anyone who stared into it. They painted on Vince's car sloppily, mostly dumping the buckets onto the car, but Y/N threw what little artistic genius she had. She remembered it kinda looked like Van Gogh's Starry Night. _Without_ the artistic beauty and beautiful colours. Aaaaaannnd Y/N may have keyed 'Suck My Nuts' onto his door, but it was really hard to read near the end. In fairness to Y/N, they'd run out of time when Miko and Bulkhead HAPPENED to drive by.  

Y/N shot a small glare to Miko at the memory. 

' _I'm still convinced you overheard the plan and ruined it._ ' Y/N snarled in her brain. 

After they'd been found out, Y/N got a stern talking too from Optimus about how 'Revenge never solves anything' and 'How talking to each other can diffuse a situation'. Optimus was PISSED. He made Smokescrene stay in 24/7 and clean the entire base, whilst scrubbing out the Energon tanks until they sparkled. Oh, and her and Smokescreen couldn't be alone together anymore. Not without someone knowing where they were going, and without wearing a tracker. Y/N grimaced. 

She did remember that. 

"See? You do remember. You got off easy and I got the brunt of it." Smokescreen said, and stalked down towards the hallway to his room, "I'm done with disobeying orders." 

From the corner of her eye, Y/N could see Ratchet perk up at the sentence, but he went back to watching the monitors.

' _Fine. Have it your way then._ ' Y/N thought angrily, sliding off the couch and sprinting down the stairs to catch up with her Autobot Guardian. 

Y/N could feel snot slowly begin to drip out of her nose and she quickly wiped it away before anyone saw. She only breathed through her mouth; her nose was so plugged up with mucus she couldn't breathe.

"Hey! The only reason I want to get Claritin is because I can't breathe!" Y/N waved her hands at Smokescreen to stop walking. He did.

"I can die if I don't get enough oxygen to my brain." Y/N tapped her skull. 

Smokescreen whirled around and kneeled down, looking around him as though someone might be listening in.

"If I get this...Clara-tune, will you stop getting me in trouble?" Smokescreen stumbled over his pronunciation, but his face kept serious and stern. Y/N stifled her giggles. She nodded instead.

"Yeah. If I take one, my nose gets cleared and I can breathe again. Happy day, hallelujah!"

Smokescreen twisted his mouth and sighed, straightening up and transforming in a whirlwind of car parts.

"Alright. Get in."

Y/N hesitated; she'd never won an arguement before. Smokescreen was just like her, stubborn and hard to deal with. Especially when it came time to persuade the other from a task or to do a task.

The passenger door opened expectantly. 

"You getting in or you changed your mind?" 

Y/N snapped out of her daze and hoped into the car, clicking the seatbelt on and patting the dashboard. 

"Thanks." 

 ---------------

"Dude I am going to be in sooooo much trouble!" Y/N laughed giddily, uncrossing her arms from behind her head. She watched the world speed by her window in a blur, bugs splatting against Smokescreen's windshield.  She could see Jasper starting to peak out from beyond a small hill. 

Smokescreen's blinkers flashed in surprise.  

" _You're_ gonna be in trouble? What about me?" He whined.  Y/N giggled and patted his steering wheel apologetically. 

"We're gonna both be in so much trouble." She corrected, watching as Smokescreen started to slow down for a red light near the edge of town.  His wheels squeaked as he rolled to a slow, lazy stop.  Y/N noticed that he'd become smoother in his transitions.  She smiled. 

' _He's growing up so fast_.'  She thought happily.  The red light snapped to green and Smokescreen let off his brake, slowly speeding up to the respectable speed limit of 50km.  She watched as pedestrians walked by on the sidewalks, going into the various stores Jasper had to offer.  She kept an eye out for Optimus, Bumblebee, Arcee, or Bulkhead driving around the city looking for the Decepticon. 

"Which store?" Smokescreen's voice startled her out of her searching.  Y/N jumped and almost hit her head off the roof of Smokescreen's vehicle form.  

"Sorry." He said, stopping at another red light.  Y/N shook her head and tugged the seatbelt firmer around her chest. 

"It was my fault.  I was daydreaming. Um...let's go to the...Mack's Convenience Store." She said, pointing in the direction where the store was.  Smokescreen flicked his left blinker on and turned down a road. 

After a few minutes, Y/N could see the store parking lot.  There were at least three other cars there. 

Smokescreen pulled into the parking lot and stopped his form in a parking space a few metres away from the nearest car.  He shifted his shifter into park and unlocked the door. 

"Get in, grab the Claritin, and we can get back to the base before Optimus gets back."

"Will do buckaroo." Y/N said, opening the glove box and pulling out a small wad of cash.  She always kept it in there just in case she ever found herself without a wallet. Like now. 

Y/N rolled the elastic band off the cash and pinched two twenty's between her fingers.  She shoved it in her pocket and placed the elastic band over the roll of money, throwing it back into the glove box and shutting it with a click.  Y/N took her seatbelt off and jerked the door handle, pushing the door open with her knee and stepping out. 

"I'll be quick. Two seconds maybe, and don't you dare leave without me." Y/N threatened, pointing at Smokescreen's steering wheel accusingly. Before he could answer, Y/N slammed the door shut and hopped onto the sidewalk.  The air was cool as dusk was beginning to settle in.  Bugs flew past her and kids in the distance squealed as they played in the park. 

Smokescreen honked his horn at her playfully, but she ignored it and walked through the automatic doors. The air conditioning hit her like a brick wall. Four other people browsed through the small aisle, grabbing snacks and drinks. A kid walked past her, sipping a purple and red slurpee as his mother paid for it. 

Y/N wiped her nose and sniffled, stalking down the aisle nearest to the register, giving a small wave to the cashier. She grabbed at a bottle of Claritin near the front. She made sure to check it was non-drowsy, before walking back to the register and placing the bottle of pills down on the counter. 

The cashier, a young male about her age with black fuzzy hair, smiled at her and swiped the item through the scanner. The price popped up on the screen and she dug around in her pockets to grab the dollar bills. 

"33.99 please." The man said, typing a few keys into the register as Y/N handed forty dollars to him. He smiled again as he took it from her and slid open the cash drawer, placing the money in their respective spots. 

Y/N smiled in thanks as she grabbed her change from him. 

"Need a bag?" He asked. 

Y/N shook her head and moved to grab the Claritin. 

"No thanks.  I'm pretty sure I can walk around with this. If I can't, well, then I have issues." She joked, and the man laughed in response. 

"Take care!" Y/N called as she walked out of the store, Claritin in hand.  The man waved goodbye and went back to reading a magazine.  Y/N stared down at the Claritin in glee as she approached the parking space Smokescreen was sitting in.  

"Well, got the Claritin and now we can head ba-"

The parking space was empty.  He wasn't there. 

"That son of a _bitch._ " Y/N snarled under her breath, eyes searching for the missing blue and white LeMans sports car.  Her brain buzzed with activity as she thought up possible scenarios that could have possibly caused Smokescreen to ditch on her.

1\. Optimus was spotted

2\. Arcee was spotted

3\. Bumblebee was spotted

or 4. Bulkhead was spotted

Y/N's eyes flicked from parked car to parked car and watched as vehicles drove down the road.  She couldn't see anything with an Autobot symbol, or any semi truck prowling through the streets. 

Above her, the sun was starting to set and the darkness of dusk was sneaking up.  Stars were beginning to peek through the pinkish clouds and the streetlights were already flickering on.  Y/N groaned, shoving the Claritin in her pocket. 

' _I should've grabbed my phone before we made our grand escape. I could've at least called him and given him a piece of my mind._ ' She thought angrily.  Y/N sighed and started to saunter down the sidewalk towards her house.  Even that would take a good 30 minutes before she arrived. 

Y/N had just pressed the walk button on a set of lights when she heard a car horn beep.  She ignored it; after all, everybody honked their horn from time to time. 

But it was persistent, and annoying.  And coming from right behind her. 

Y/N turned to give the driver a piece of her mind.  Instead of some creep honking at her at 7:30 at night, it was Smokescreen.  He flashed his lights at her and opened the driver door. 

"Get in." He hissed.  Y/N stayed glued to her spot. 

"You fu-"

"Just  _get in."_

Y/N curled her nose, but nonetheless got into the car.  The first thing she did was punch the dashboard. 

"You idiot! You ditched me!" Y/N snarled.  Smokescreen slipped the seatbelt onto her body and tightened it. 

"Y/N I had too-"

"You didn't have to! There was nobody there! Like, I would get if Optimus or fucking Arcee was parked in the lot, but c'mon!" Y/N crossed her arms, waiting for an explanation.  She tapped her foot like a mother waiting for her son to confess. 

"Y/N I needed to hide. The Decepticon flew right over the store." Smokescreen said, putting his shifter in reverse and backed into an alley, completely turning off his engine and lights, and mumbling"I didn't want to start a fight with so many humans around."

Y/N's heart softened. 

' _He's grown so much_.' Y/N thought, feeling her face break into a smile.

"I'm sorry for...overreacting.  IF the Con saw you, we need to book it out of town and away from humans."

"Are you sure? Won't he follow us back to base?"

Y/N shrugged.

"If he is, we won't go back to base."

Even though she couldn't see Smokescreen's face, she knew he was grinning. 

"Let's do this."

Slowly, almost as slow as a turtle, Smokescreen pulled out of the back alley.  Y/N made sure the coast was clear and Smokescreen sped down the road, sending black smoke into the air.  He ran red lights, swerved to miss pedestrians, and cut off several people.  He almost ran into a light pole.  Y/N was gripping the roof handle with white knuckled fingers, gasping and screaming as he drove dangerously down the highway. 

"What the fu-"

"You told me to get outta town as fast as possible!" He shouted back, wheel wrenching to avoid a cat on the road. His tires screeched as he swerved back into his lane, the gas pedal pushing even more to the floor and his speedometer hit 100 in a 50 zone.  

"Jesus!" 

Y/N's heart was pounding in her chest and blood was rushing in her ears as Jasper blurred by her window. She could see the outskirts of town approaching and Smokescreen sped even faster. Feeling like the air was sucked out of her lungs, Y/N laughed. 

"God Smokescreen! We won't be able to show our faces in Jasper anymore!" She said breathlessly. Smokescreen laughed along with her, and focused on driving down the highway. 

Y/N quieted down and stared out the windshield, marveling at the stars twinkling in the sky.  She propped her head up with her hands, resting her elbows on her knees, and gazed up at the moon in wonder. 

"Y'know, you're prettier then one." Smokescreen's voice was quiet, and Y/N barely heard him.  But she did.

"Prettier then what?"

Smokescreen sucked air sharply, and pretended to focus on the road. 

"C'mon Smokey.  What am I prettier than?" Y/N pried, touching his Autobot insignia lightly.  He sighed.

"You're prettier then the stars." He admitted, voice quiet again. Y/N blushed. 

' _He's never complimented me before_.'

"Wow Smokescreen...I-" Out of the corner of her eye, Y/N could see something fast moving towards them.  It was a missile.

"LOOK OUT!" She screamed in warning, but it was too late.  The missile hit the pavement beside them, sending Smokescreen careening to the ditch.  Her elbow slammed against the door, sending a sharp shooting pain up her arm.  Something warm and wet spewed onto her sleeve, completely soaking it. She was airborne, her seatbelt the only thing keeping her from hitting her head off the roof.   

Y/N couldn't even comprehend what happened next.  She saw metal moving before her eyes, and then something warm cradling her dazed form.  She laid flat against it, brain struggling to realize this was happening.  This was real.  

The warm metal beneath her jolted backwards, and that's when Y/N realized, she was on Smokescreen's hand.  Pain flared up from her arm and she winced, holding it close to her chest.

That's when she saw it.  Multiple purple Vehicons, all training their guns on Smokescreen.  And her. 

Their guns whined as they came to life, and Y/N could hear Smokescreen powering up his own. 

Then, Smokescreen stiffened.  And then he did the unthinkable.  He presented them to her, holding her up by her armpits, and pretended to shake. 

"I would stand back if I were you!" Smokescreen warned.  Y/N struggled and punched his hand as best as she could. 

"What're you doing!?" She hissed, sweat dripping down her forehead. Her heart thumped wildly in her ribcage and that was the only thing she could hear in the moment of silence. She saw Smokescreen give her a tiny smirk.

"Just play along." He whispered back, before glaring at the Cons.  They weren't firing their weapons.  Y/N found that extremely odd.

"You don't want to mess with her! She's got a secret weapon!" Smokescreen said fearfully.  Y/N rolled her eyes, but stuck her hands out and splayed her fingers as though she had claws.  She growled at them, spit seeping past her lips and dribbling down her chin. 

The Decepticons backed up a few steps, and some stood their ground.  

"You lie Autobot!" One snarled and powered up his gun.  His bravery caused two other Vehicon's to follow suite, and, they too, threatened to shoot them. 

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." Smokescreen said in warning. Y/N upped the ante and bared her teeth like a dog, glowering at them with all her might.  The Con faltered, but held fast.  

"Or what?"

"She'll use her Allergy Powers. Only special humans have them, and trust me, they're dangerous." Smokescreen stated in a as-a-matter-of-fact tone.  At that moment, Y/N sneezed and snot shot out of her nose.

A Con made a disgusted noise.

"She's powering up for her special attack. I'm gonna warn you once more before I let her go..." Smokescreen trailed off and pretended to drop Y/N.  She yelped, and quickly turned it into a snarl, saliva dripping off her teeth.  She felt the spit wet her shirt.  She ignored it.

The Cons backed away in fear.

"What...what can she do?" One asked, eyeballing Y/N.  She growled again and he back off. 

"Well you see, I don't know.  Each human is different.  For all I know, she could have laser eyes...OR EXPLODE!" Smokescreen's voice boomed across the empty desert and all the Cons jumped, guns poised to shoot again. Y/N stifled a giggle.

"You think this tiny human is going to harm us? All I have to do is step on her and she'll go splat."

Smokescreen's grip tightened on her and Y/N squirmed.  He didn't, however, say anything and only glared at them. 

"See? Now surrender to us and maybe we'll let her live." The Con sneered, gun aimed at Y/N's head.  Smokescreen sighed.

"Don't say I didn't warn you."   

A groundbridge popped up behind them so fast and without warning, all the Cons jumped in surprise.  Smokescreen gave a lazy salute and tucked Y/N closer to his chest. Y/N beamed.

"Adios fuckers!" She laughed putting her finger and her thumb in the shape of an 'L'. No sooner, she was engulfed by the green and blue swirling vortex.  The Con's fired, bullets flying into the groundbridge just as it was closing.  She heard Smokescreen grunt in pain, but his grip on her did not let up. The groundbridge closed just as Smokescreen entered the base. They both panted, and Y/N held her tiny hand up for a fist-bump. Smokescreen bumped it with his much larger fist and grinned tiredly. 

"What the scrap happened!?" Acree's voice rang in Y/N's ears. She jumped and  Smokescreen held her closer. 

"Uhh..we were just..um…"

Arcee tapped her foot impatiently, hands on her hips.  Optimus flanked her side, and his optics shone with disappointment.  Bumblebee and Bulkhead were nowhere to be seen, and neither were Jack, Raf, and Miko. 

' _They'd gone home_.'

Y/N smiled at them and gave them a thumbs up. 

"It's all good."

Ratchet burst through Optimus and Arcee. He looked PISSED.  Y/N found herself wilting under his gaze, and her thumbs up fell. She could feel Smokescreen back up.  

" _It's all good_ she says. Smokescreen got shot and your elbow is _bleeding_."

Y/N looked down at her arm and saw blood staining her elbow.

"Huh. What do ya know. I am."

Ratchet huffed and pried Y/N from Smokescreen's iron hold, bringing her to his examination table. He pointed to Smokescreen and then to a bench. 

"You. Sit."

Smokescreen obeyed.  

Ratchet huffed and turned around to get the human first aid kit, and Y/N stuck her tongue out at him. She looked at Smokescreen, who had an angry frown on his face, and she smiled, reaching into her pocket and grabbing the bottle of Claritin. 

"Hey. We got what we went in for." She giggled and popped one in her mouth, swallowing.  Smokescreen glared at her as Optimus approached.   

"No more adventures." He growled.

Y/N stuck her tongue out at him too. 


End file.
